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When you're burnout and stressed, getting overstimulated is an ongoing issue. From going to work and dealing with co-workers/bosses, taking care of kids (if you're a parent), balancing your love life, to the December holiday hauls and gatherings, over-stimulation is in the air all the time. No wonder it's so easy to get overwhelmed.
If you’re like me, you enjoy company, have a good time, and being in an overall happy and zen mood. But the everyday noise of adulting, responsibilities and social interaction somehow all clash together over time and all you want to do is disconnect. Cancel everyone and everything. Only that the reality is... you can't.
Congrats! Over-stimulation mode has been unlocked. Yes, indeed.
The thought of having to do anything and everything is completely exhausting. Like your brain completely fidgets or shuts down and you may need to sulk in your lonesome to recharge. If recharging is even feels possible at that point.
Before I learned that I was burnout and stressed, I assumed this is what it meant to be a first-time mom, juggling marriage, business school and being a manager of two teams at work as an introvert.
As an introvert, I know that social components tend to drain me and recharge is a need for survival. But when you get to the point where you can't think from stress or you want to run away from it all like a maniac with twitchy eyes, it tends to be more of over-stimulation situation.
Things Burnout Overachieving Introverts Can Relate to
As an overachiever, I learned the hard way that there comes a moment when you stretch yourself way too thin. Being an overachiever, sometimes I am very faulty of thinking I can finesse time management to squeeze all of my duties and goals like a super woman.
Growing up, it's how I've managed to level up and accomplish many personal and professional goals. Being called overachiever didn’t seem like a bad thing so I developed a belief that being 'it' meant that I was unique and a mastermind – that ‘overachieving’ was a nice way of saying ‘strong and dependable.’
Along with wanting to be seen as strong and dependable, I was also terrified of getting into trouble or being judged as incompetent or lacking. I associated being of service to others as a means of demonstrating trustworthiness. So I had a fear of saying no to people that I respected and cared because then I would be seen as not dependable or approachable. Overtime, this way of thinking led me towards feeling like my environment was chaotic and loud, simply because I added too much on my plate.
Many introverted overachievers can relate. It seems like our nervous systems are programmed to be take on everything and anything to be known as trustworthy in our efforts, no matter what it is. Everyone can count on us to get things done. But when we take on a lot more than we can physically and mentally handle, it definitely leads toward high stress and burnout. And we get overstimulated.
Because of these challenges, I distanced myself from my social life -- family, friends, you name it. At some point, I can’t handle the noise or chaos anymore and I retract to my own little world to find a quiet place for my mind. And normally, this means wasting hours binge watching shows or scrolling through social media while not making an effort to check in on friends and family to see how they're doing and what they're up to, including my husband.
The thought of having to go out and socialize has been a dark shadow over my shoulder. Yet, somehow missing loved ones and wondering why no one hits me up?
Not I, the introvert, wondering why the people I've been ignoring or distancing myself with are not reaching out to me? Haha. What a jokester this girl is!
A Hard Reflection of Being an Overachiever
As an adult, I found out that overachieving thoughts and behaviors may include having a lack of satisfaction with accomplishments, always looking to achieve more, and rarely feeling any sense of reward from your work. The challenges I experienced growing up are part of what it means to have this over-glorified yet faulty trait.
Overachievers have a tendency to fear failure and we tend to tie our self-worth to our competence. Rather than setting and striving for things that authentically fulfills us as individuals, our underlying motivation is to take on challenges that may not even benefit us just to avoid failure.
If you think about it, it’s actually a pretty harsh way to live life. And the saddest part about it is that we're the ones choosing to add the chaos into our lives that is burning us out and inflicting the stress on ourselves that is leading towards over-stimulation.
We can ultimately alleviate other people's chaos by taking on tasks that will bring them peace while we self-destruct. It’s an unfortunate side effect.
When that happens, we’ve got to have a plan to help manage the inevitable destruction.
How to Manage Overstimulation as an Introvert
I adapted these simple methods over time and they’ve come in handy every time I feel overwhelmed. From work drama to household madness dealing with a toddler to holiday season chaos, I tend to find some peace when I get over-stimulated.
They work for me and I am confident that they will work for you.
#1 Take a Break
As cliche as it sounds, it's also as simple as it sounds.
If I try to power through the chaos when running on empty fuel, I start getting really irritated and annoyed at the world because my brain just can't function properly and my peace of mind doesn't exist anymore. I’m miserable.
Find a space that works for you where you can take a break or remove yourself from whatever it is that is stimulating you. Lay down. Take a nice shower or bath with products pleasing to your senses. Light a scented candle. Sit outside and enjoy the weather. Play with your pets. Read. Listen to calming music. Just chill.
If you enjoy scented candles, I am obsessed with Bath and Body Works Mahogany Teakwood - High Intensity which you can also find in Amazon and Strawberry Pound Cake.
Moms and all caretakers, I also know how challenging taking a break can be if you take care of little humans at home. But taking a break can be as little as taking a few minutes to yourself after their bedtime. If you're a morning person, maybe before your little ones wake up.
If you have a partner that is supportive, ask them to help you achieve a little break time. When I need a break, I am very fond that my husband supports me by taking over the little ones while I lock myself in our bedroom or he takes them outside so that the house becomes quiet.
#2 Practice Mindfulness
I give a chef's kiss to practicing mindfulness when you're in the middle of a mental chaos. Focus on your breathing. Take long inhalations and exhalations. Imagine enjoying the sunset at a beautiful beach as you squeeze your toes in the grainy sand and feeling the salty breeze caress your skin. Whatever you need to feel calmer. Sometimes listening to the sound of the environment you're trying to envision in a youtube or a music streaming app helps too.
If you suck at practicing mindfulness, one trick that has helped me is closing my eyes for a moment and slowly feeling the ridges of my thumb with my index finger. Doesn't matter which hand. This forces me to be in the moment and silence my thoughts.
Do it when you feel overwhelmed. It’s a lot harder to focus in this state, but it pays off.
When overstimulated, I often reach out to my husband or daughter for a heartfelt hug, close my eyes, and try to feel their warmth skin to skin. Sometimes the presence of people very dear to you does the trick.
Putting yourself in a state where you feel safe can be calming and eases overstimulation.
#3 Balance Your Exposure to Loud Environments and Energy Draining People
For me, loud environments tend to be the most chaotic and I have to be in a specific state of mind to deal with it for a long period of time. This could be environments where there is loud music that does not particularly cater to your taste, loud laughing or talking people, overly cluttered spaces, etc.
In gatherings, there’s always that one person that laughs or talks so loud that you could probably hear them from outside. While you may have much love for this person (or not), maybe creating some distance to remove yourself from the loudness can do you some good if their energy drains you.
Doing this, you may find that you can manage to survive a little longer in social gatherings before you retract back into your introverted shell.
#4 Find an Activity or Hobby That Reduces Stress!
I enjoy finding activities for myself that lets others know that I am slightly busy, but still available if I am needed. For example, blogging, coloring in an adult coloring book or engaging in an activity book is fun for me. It gives me something to do without putting my brain on overdrive. Other folks enjoy crocheting or completing variety puzzle books.
If your time is very family-centered, playing family games can be an awesome way to reduce stress and spend fun quality time with your loved ones! It provides somewhat of a structure and gives everyone a focus other than you. Depending on the age group and your family's sense of humor, I find Cards Against Humanity to be really entertaining as well as Heads Up!
These “anchoring activities” can really help you to feel connected but have less pressure to outperform. Note to self though, if you're spending time with younger humans, Cards Against Humanity Family Edition or Kids Against Maturity may be more appropriate.
#5 Rest
When I am very stressed and burnout, getting cozy in the bed or couch in comes in handy. I don’t want to move or lift a finger when I am over-stimulated.
If it’s really bad, self care takes form in sleep. I’ll nap or sleep in, especially if my body feels heavy and my eyes burn. Sometimes sleeping and resting is the best medicine for bodies and brains on overdrive. That's because our bodies are basically on strike!
Related: 10 Self-Care Ideas For a Happier You
When you are burnout and overly stressed, the effects of overstimulation can last for an unwelcoming amount of time. If your brain has shut down on you, then you need to allow the time it needs to recover and build your energy back up.
Recovering and rebuilding your energy through rest is a form of self care.
Sometimes as overachievers, we struggle with allowing ourselves to truly unwind for longer periods of time when there is a lot to do, even if we're already stressed and overwhelmed. Because we're driven by getting things done to prove our self-worth through competence.
One thing I’ve learned is that negatively judging or depriving ourselves from our need to recharge heavily contributes to our overstimulation. The more stimulated your are, the longer you will need to recover. And this is an outcome we have the power to improve.
Ultimately, the choice is yours to shift yourself from overstimulating. While it can be challenging, it is still a choice.
Allow yourself the opportunity to accept that your body and brain are in a state that requires recovery and don't feel guilty of needing time and space to refocus. Cutting down on your chaos doesn't make you any less worthy or competent.
It's okay and everyone needs this. We're all human.
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These are the things I put into practice to leverage overstimulation as a high-achieving introvert. I’d love to hear what you do!
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